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2003-03-01 - 4:07 a.m.

ok. so i am not dropping out completely, but i did drop my japanese class. it seems so silly, i was so excited to start japanese. i had such big plans and i was really going to try hard. both semesters. but it's too hard. and i know it's not because i'm a slacker. it's honestly beyond my physical capabilities to complete this class. i dunno, it just seems kind of pointless.

so i've been kind of thinking about work-boy a lot. and i've been assured that he likes me, as though i couldn't pick up on it myself. there are a few problems with this situation, though. one, he is 2 years younger than me. two, he is moving here in the next few months, three he lives in another city which, while do-able, is a pain in the ass. also, i went over to his house tonight to hang out with his roomate, whom i am also friends with. i told him i was going and that he should hurry home so we could all smoke.

he never showed up.

as you can see, i hung out at their house for a while. (it's 4:11) and he seriously never showed. i thought taht was really weird, since he showed so mcuh interest in me throughout the course of the night. i hope nothing happened to him.

but that's probably just wishful thinking, he was probably over at a friend's house not thinking about me at all and doing other fun shit.

oh well. it's not like anything else is going right for me. none of my other friends really seem to want to call me or hang out or anything.

emily hasn't called me all week. i'm starting to doubt if we are really friends again. it seems like i call her every other day or so, i even stopped by the other day and she was on her way to lunch with matt. she said she'd call me later that night and never did.

it was just a little frustrating and made me feel lonely and stalker-esque. not a feeling i really enjoy.

so anyway, blah blah blah, i've been working way too much, but i've needed the money and it's not like i really have a life anyway. i can't wait for sunday. i am going to sit around on my ass and watch tv. and go get meredith from the airport. at least i will get out of the house at some point unlike last sunday. i didn't leave the house until 11 pm. sad really.

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