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2003-04-14 - 2:01 p.m.

there are people out on their balconies playing instruments. one balcony is a guitar, one is a violin. they are trans-apartment jamming. i can't believe i spent most of this beautiful day asleep. i am dum.

anyway, i only have a few minutes because i have to go take a test for the one class i'm passing. HAH. i'm an idiot.

but yeah, i trippped mushrooms yesterday. it was strangely amazing. i'd never done it before and may i just say - it's pretty damn cool.

i saw pictures move, not really move so much as wave and glow. jillian's tarot cards are intense. ;)

anyway, i really liked the way i felt until i came down. it was a pretty hard fall or at least it felt like it. i was at nathen's watching lord of the rings with emily. she informed me that i take myself way to seriously and i never say anything nice about myself.

but i truly do think i'm dum. i guess maybe i'm not - i have potential - but potential will only take you so far. i feel a lot older than i actually am and as a result, i feel like my life has been a complete and total waste. i don't really do anything. i don't really have any passions. or goals.

i thought i was miserable in high school, but as i look back, i actually knew who i was back then. now, i'm just some idiot pot head who can't ever seem to drag herself out of bed. i wish i didn't have such a huge self-inflicted complex.

anyway, the people outside are now singing and i must go to class. boo for me staying in bed all day. i'm retarded.

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