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2004-08-20 - 5:19 p.m.

hello good and faithful friends. what a glorious summer in the year of our lord Two Thousand and Four. i trust my entry finds you all in good faith and good health in the name of our belssed prophet, John Heathly of Salem, Oregon. Now you may be asking yourselves, who is this austere mr. heathly of the rain soaked north? my friends, he is my new husband and ordained minister and high priest of the John Heathly Church of The Sacred Anomily of Salem, Oregon. That's right. I tied the knot - and to a clergy man? Can you believe it? I tell you truly this has been the best summer of my life.

John and I have a baby on the way as well. We found out two days ago. John is hoping for a girl, but really have no preference. I'll take whatever little miracle God gives us. Right now my favorite picks for names are Michael, Abraham, Kristin, and Saraphim. What would you pick? I know, tough choice.

As you can see, God has belssed us with multitdes of his loving spoonfuls of joy these few months I've been gone. I hope you'll all forgive my abscence and continue your writing as well. I've also taken up the hobby of macrame. I used to think it was cheesy, but lo and behold, John's mother showed me the light. I think it's a beautiful art - and craftsmanship aside, those buggars sure are useful. It's so much fun it should be a sin!

Regardless, I sure love the new life God has given me. And friends, I think you would too. I know most of you don't live near Oregon, but for those that do, or are willing to make the trip, I invite you with utmost sincerity to visit our church. My husband has been given divine knowledge of the secrets left by Issac to his brother Ishmael shortly before his falling out with Abraham. Through him, I have been shown the truth and have renounced my wicked former life. And you should to. And by the way. Just fuckin with you. Glad to have me back? More soon.

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