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2004-09-19 - 1:53 p.m.

bleh. what a day. i spent the weekend in wichita for my uncle's wedding and brother's birthday.

uncle's wedding: went to a bachlorette party for my new aunt at a bar where i think you could have taken my age, doubled it, added or subtracted 10 years and you would get the age of everyone else there. smoked a cigar drank margaritas with my mother and watched her dance. dance. my mom. dancing. it was quite a sight. i had a really good time though. the wedding was interesting. the actual ceremony lasted only a few minutes. a couple of quick prayers and short, sweet vows and we were free to receptionize. i talked with the cousins that were there and caught up with aunts and uncles too far removed from memory to really understand what they were talking about. saw my newly grey haired cousin - i suppose the year of having a wife leave for a drug interlude and a son move away to escape the drudgery of a town he never really liked did him in. my cousins (one old one new but both named Lacey) wore belly shirts and koolots as bridesmaids dresses. then they went to red lobster after the wedding. i don't really think it's possible to sum up the white trash aspects of my family any better than that.

the birthday was uneventful. we went to on the border and had crappy mexican food but a good waitress who was the oldest of eleven.

i got some bad news this morning. my phone had been dead since i got to wichita (because i am brilliant and forgot to charge it) and upon checking this morning i found a message from melissa telling me leanna (a friend from outback) had killed herself two days prior. i can't explain the pain of knowing she called me that night and not having free time to hang out immideately, i decided to call her back on sunday (today) when i did have time. what a stupid thing to do. so i guess i will leave you this advice: if a friend you don't talk to very often calls you out of the blue, and even if they don't sound like anything is the matter and they just want to hang out, call them back. even if you just put off their misery for a short time, at least you did something. don't wait until you have free time.

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